


Mystery of love

by MultiphandomHeather



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: All The Ships, Consent is very important, Drunken Kissing, F/F, Falling In Love, One Shot, Personal Growth, Platonic Kissing, some well deserved Siyeon love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:03:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19460767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiphandomHeather/pseuds/MultiphandomHeather
Summary: Lee Siyeon couldn't say she minded the company of beautiful women.So everything was alright, wasn't it?I guess we learn our whole lives.





	Mystery of love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [2sweethoneybuns - my amazing Tumblr mutual](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=2sweethoneybuns+-+my+amazing+Tumblr+mutual).



> My first fic on this site! Written as a present for my friend whom I love with all my heart  
> Let the gay begin!

“We’re almost there! Don’t stop, the horizon is near!”

Siyeon snorted and almost tumbled down from laughing too hard, earning a shriek from Yoohyeon. Her vision was a bit blurry, colors blending with each other into a psychedelic haze. The world seemed to sway and she was wobbly on her feet, trying to keep walking with a heavy load.

“I think we’re drunk, Singnie.” Yoohyeon mused from when she was plopped on her friend’s back, chin digging into the top of her head and long legs secured tightly around her waist.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.” Siyeon's voice slurred a little at the end, drawing a fit of giggles from her friend. Yoohyeon tightened her hold around Siyeon’s neck and nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck, earning a quiet squeak.

“You’re so warm.” the younger girl noted with a sigh and made herself comfortable. Siyeon decided to ignore the slight tickling sensation on her neck and focused on marching. She could feel unexpected warmth spreading on her face. Probably due to the alcohol.

The rest of their journey was spent on singing off key, uncontrollable laughter and countless attempts to regain balance. It was some kind of a miracle that they didn’t fall even once, however their pace suffered greatly because of that. Siyeon’s house wasn’t far away but the coordination of two intoxicated people made them much slower. Especially if one was sitting on top of the other.

“Just a little left! Look at us go!”

Siyeon struggled not to give in to another fit of laughter. She was sure that tonight’s bliss would be nothing in comparison to the pounding she would feel in her head tomorrow. The teacher will probably scold her because of the strained voice. Muscles will burn from the effort and knees cover in various bruises from bumping into things on the way.

“I can see the light! Our destination is near!”

But still she didn’t pay attention to any of the inconveniences. Her hair tangled from the wind, alcohol coursing in her veins and there she was, not able to care about anything. Not when Yoohyeon kept blurting her random comments and laughing with her. That thought made Siyeon feel the warmth once again. She shouldn’t have drunk so many shots.

“And we’re here!” Yoohyeon announced with a loud cheer before clamping her mouth shut, worried about waking up the neighbors.

“Sure we are. Hop down.” 

The younger girl let out a long whine, extended for a dramatic purpose. She clung to Siyeon like a koala and refused to let go.

“Siyeonie~!” she cooed at her friend. “Can you carry me inside? You’re so strong and amazing, and-”

“Okay, okay.” Siyeon agreed reluctantly once again feeling the heat enveloping her. When Yoohyeon squealed and pecked her cheek the sensation started flowing through her whole body. She started doubting if it was just a result of her drinking.

It took some effort to get towards her bed but she somehow managed. Her muscles were probably giving their all for the final steps. With a victorious grunt she bent her knees a bit in order to make it easier for Yoohyeon to jump off. The girl was tall enough to simply step down to the floor and after a second, she was already standing on her own. Siyeon put her arms up to stretch a bit and groaned in relief. Her joints were killing her.

Turns out she wasn’t the only one with motion problems. Yoohyeon somehow managed to get tangled in her long limbs and stumbled forward right where her friend was trying to ease her muscles. Having slower reflexes due to alcohol intake and general exhaustion, Siyeon couldn’t keep balance when a body collided into her with full force.

“What the hell...” she muttered in confusion, her brain feeling fuzzy because of a sudden change of position.

“I’m sorry! Wait a second, I’ll fix this.” 

Siyeon had no idea what her friend was trying to fix and to be honest she was okay with drifting away there and at that moment. Apparently Yoohyeon had other plans and decided to turn and try to stand up from the bed. Unfortunately her tipsy state messed with her sense of direction and she rolled straight onto unsuspecting Siyeon.

“My god.” the poor girl sighed at the sudden weight and opened her eyes to check the situation. She didn’t expect to meet her friend’s flushed face hovering inches from her own.

“Wait, hold up it wasn’t supposed to be that way.” Yoohyeon was clearly struggling to get herself together and regain the remains of her senses. Siyeon laughed at her clueless expression but that quickly turned into a shallow breathing when the tall girl’s fingertips grazed her jaw.

“Am I drunk or are you insanely pretty?” she whispered, making Siyeon giggle slightly.

“Both probably. But I’m also drunk so what do I know.”

If her vision was blurred before, it returned to its full clearness, maybe got even more vivid. She could see every detail of Yoohyeon’s face. Her sparkling eyes clouded by something that didn’t seem to only be alcohol. Soft skin with a faint blush tinting her cheeks and those pink lips just above her own. Siyeon wasn’t sure if she ever saw somebody as beautiful as Yoohyeon.

“Can I?” the taller girl asked and she nodded vigorously.

“Yes please.”

Their lips touched softly and Siyeon had to close her eyes before the colors overwhelmed her with their brightness. Every sound became muffled and all she could focus on were Yoohyeon’s lips and her lose hold on her shirt. All these sensations blended perfectly with her misty state of mind. It just felt right to do this with her in this moment, just two tipsy best friends in a quiet room after a night full of loud noises and flashing lights. There was nothing hungry or aggressive in that kiss. Just a sweet and tender moment between two people who cared for each other deeply.

“Wow, we really are drunk.” Yoohyeon giggled when they parted and Siyeon could only laugh with her. The younger girl rolled back onto the bed and snuggled close to her friend.

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about.” Siyeon responded in a hushed tone with just a bit of slurring at the end.

**

“She’s not going to come.” 

Siyeon’s head snapped to the left after a low voice teared her away from her deep thought. 

“Excuse me?” she asked. A girl with brightly orange hair took another sip of her drink and put it back on the counter.

“Your date.” she explained. “Not gonna happen.”

It was a very bizarre situation. Siyeon was sure she has never seen this woman before. She would have remembered encountering someone as stunning as her. Also that hair was hard to miss.

“I’m not here for a date.” the stranger kept looking at her with a distracting yet unreadable expression. “And even if I were, why are you so sure it would be with a “she”?” 

The woman smirked a bit and it made Siyeon feel many different things at once. There was something dangerous and exciting about her. 

“Let’s just say I’m good at reading the vibe.”

If Siyeon was to read the vibe right now she would describe it as tense and full of an unspoken anticipation. Like a feeling you get several minutes before a big thunderstorm. The woman was eyeing her a calm gaze. However it was impossible to shake off the impression that there was much more underneath. Something waiting to be discovered and explored. 

“So not a date.” the bright haired beauty concluded. “Could you be a lone wolf drowning her sorrows away in desperate but repressed need of some company?”

The woman was teasing her. Siyeon could feel that with every fiber of her being. She was testing her, trying to push her a little bit more and waiting for the reaction. It was clear that the next minutes could change the course of that night dramatically. 

“I’m Siyeon.”

“Did I ask?” A challenge. A test to see if she would push forward or step back.

“No, but I also didn’t ask for your input yet here we are.”

“Touché.” the glint in the stranger’s eyes suggested she passed the little trial. “Handong.”

Extraordinary name for an equally outstanding woman. Siyeon could feel that this was just a beginning. She should have known from the start that Handong wasn’t just a woman sitting in a bar.

“Two more please.” the woman asked the bartender with a certain elegance in her tone. Her whole being emanated subtle sophistication. As if she was above everyone else in the room and well aware of that but without letting it be known by some flashy displays. 

She passed one of the glasses towards Siyeon and raised her own with a nod.

“To failed dates.” she toasted with a slight smirk. Siyeon took the challenge once again.

“To nosy strangers.” 

Handong’s smirk grew even wider as she put her glass to her lips and started drinking. Only then Siyeon actually took a proper look at her companion.

Aside from the bright hair the gorgeous woman was sporting skinny jeans and a black leather jacket. There was something alluring in the simplicity of her outfit. The message was clear and very fitting - Handong didn’t need anything ostentatious to overpower her natural beauty. No coverage could match the deep mystery in her eyes. 

“Lost in thought?” the subject of her observation asked suddenly. “Can’t get over the date?”

Siyeon couldn’t suppress a smirk of her own. Two could play this game.

“You’re also here alone.” she noted. “Maybe your girl stole mine away.”

“Who said it would be a girl?”

“Let’s just say I’m good at reading the vibe.”

And oh what a vibe was it. If the tension was high before, it was almost suffocating at this point. Handong bored into her with something else in her eyes. She was waiting but also knowing that whatever was supposed to happen, should happen soon. 

“So here we are.” the woman finished her drink and turned fully to Siyeon. “Both alone and miserable.”

“I guess so.” the black-haired girl moved on her stool to face Handong. Neither of them showing any sign of sorrow.

“And what happens next?”

Siyeon made shifted a little closer and put her hand on Handong’s thigh not breaking eye contact even one.

“Well, you know what they say.” she hummed. “Misery loves company.”

Handong didn’t say anything after that. After the prolonged silence Siyeon started thinking that made she said too much or did something that put her companion off. Maybe it was supposed to be just a bit of harmless flirting and she read the vibe wrongly. Handong covered her hand with her own still gazing straight into her soul. And then she started slowly moving it up her thigh. 

It was relieving that Siyeon wasn’t seen as a creep but now she had to sit through the torture of having a stunning woman drag her hand on her body in an agonizingly slow pace. One glance at Handong’s lips curled into a slight smirk was enough to know she knew very well what she was doing. Their little chase ascended to a different level and it was once again Siyeon’s turn to make a move or surrender. That much was clear, the orange haired woman was like a treasure waiting to be opened. It was up to Siyeon to decide if she was brave enough to go with it. And it had to be a fast choice.

“Anything for you, ladies?” the bartender cut into their staring contest and Handong squinted her eyes a bit, daring the other girl to look away.

“No, thank you.” Siyeon replied curling her fingers around the woman’s thigh. She used the other hand to blindly take some money out of her pocket and put it on the counter. “We have to get going.”

She expected some kind of teasing from Handong or at least a bit of fake reluctance but was pleasantly surprised when the girl smirked and slipped from her stool with grace. 

“Lead the way.” 

There was also no comment about Siyeon snaking an arm around her waist a bit possessively and guided her out of the bar. The chilly evening air hit them and made the black-haired girl get goosebumps despite wearing a jacket. She didn’t have time to dwell on that before Handong’s hand found her rear and she suddenly found herself holding the woman against the wall.

“If that isn’t nice.” Handong’s smirk got a bit smugger and Siyeon let out a little growl of frustration before pressing their foreheads together. One last look into that captivating eyes assured her that it was something they both wanted, and she finally closed the gap between their lips. She could taste the slight burning of tequila on her tongue and warmth of Handong’s skin under her fingertips.

The tension that has been thickening through the evening finally reached its peak. Surprisingly it didn’t end in a blinding lightning that destroyed cities. It was more like a low rumble of thunder that echoed for a while and left a refreshing feeling of a passed storm. They found a steady rhythm that somehow seemed unfitting for them but also matched their dynamic perfectly. Just two strangers on a fall night, discovering something deep within themselves and each other.

“I guess you got what you wanted.” Siyeon had to take a deep breath after pulling away. Handong was looking at her with sparkling eyes.

“For the night at least.” she answered and Siyeon didn’t feel disappointed with the reply. She felt the same way.

“Is this the part when each of us goes her own way?” the orange haired woman chuckled a little and pecked the other girl’s lips one last time.

“Good luck finding a date next time.” she whispered, and that sentence felt like something bigger that it sounded. Something that would be shared just between the two of them.

“Same to you.” 

Handong gave a small smirk, so genuine that it could almost be called a smile. She nodded her head and turned to leave in who knows what direction.

**

“It’s so cute!” Gahyeon gushed, stuffing her face with popcorn with eyes glued to the screen. Some kernels rolled down her chin and onto the couch to which the young girl paid no attention, to engrossed in the movie to care.

“Hey, kid.” Siyeon tutted. “Don’t make a mess.”

She didn’t have to look at her friend to know she was pouting in the most adorable way possible.

“I am not a kid.” 

“I’ll believe you when you start eating like a responsible human being.” the older girl threw one of the kernels at her. “Kid.”

Gahyeon huffed and turned to say something but withheld when she noticed Siyeon’s smug expression and realized she was being set up.

“I’m not answering childish taunts like that.” she announced crossing her arms but forgot she was still holding the popcorn bowl. All she could do was yelp and try to stop her snack from scattering on the floor. Siyeon couldn’t contain her laughter at the poor girl’s attempts not to make a mess. Soon she had a carpet covered in popcorn and a distraught friend looking at it in defeat.

“Way to go, Gahyeonie.” she said in an exaggerated seriousness. “I was wrong, you are a true adult.”

“Stop poking fun at me and help cleaning!” the girl glared at her. “And stop the movie, I don’t want to miss it.”

Siyeon composed herself a bit and did as she was told. Pressing the pause made the male character freeze with an expression that was probably supposed to make all women swoon from the sexiness but the most it could do for Lee Siyeon was making her gag from the cringiness.

“Why do you watch crap like that anyway?” she asked and kneeled on the floor in order to pick the kernels up.

“You watch stuff about dudes with lights in their chests but sure, judge my taste.”

“Watch your mouth!” Siyeon glared at her and wagged her finger threateningly. “One does not besmirch Tony Stark’s name like that.” 

Gahyeon rolled her eyes.

“And you call me a child.”

The older girl decided to let it slide this time, but the brat was on thin ice. Sometimes she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that the baby of their little group was twenty. Time passed way to fast, but it wasn’t as unbelievable once you looked at her. Not to be a perv but Gahyeon matured tremendously through the years. She was still a mess but Siyeon wasn’t the one to judge after recalling her failure at making ramen two days ago. However it was undeniable that the younger girl was ready for independence and it made her heart simultaneously flutter and sink.

“Earth to Singnie.” Gahyeon waved her hand in front of Siyeon’s eyes and the latter blinked rapidly in surprise.

“Sorry, sorry.” she quickly went back to the task.

“Are you alright?” the concern evident in her voice. It made Siyeon a little emotional that she was the one being comforted by the younger girl.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” she assured with wiping a fake tear in a dramatic manner. “Just an existential crisis about the passage of time.

Gahyeon blinked twice and continued cleaning the popcorn.

“Bora was right, you’re a weirdo.”

Siyeon was ready to argue that Bora was an equally big dork with that obnoxious laugh of hers, but it would only strengthen Gahyeon’s point.

“Since when do you listen to Bora.” 

“Who said I listen to her?” the small girl snorted from amusement. “I consider both of you to be terrible role models.”

Another thing that changed over time. Gahyeon has always been a sarcastic kid but was too afraid to outwardly sass her older friends. As months passed, she was getting much more confident in herself and started speaking up more. Gone was the shy baby who blushed whenever someone made a lewd joke. It was still easy to fluster her, but the difference was blatantly obvious.

“You didn’t tell me why you watch B movies like this one.” she reminded her younger friend who just rolled her eyes.

“It’s not like I think they are some kind of a masterpiece you know.” another handful of kernels was thrown back into the bowl. “Sometimes it’s nice to watch someone having a painfully simple life. Makes you wonder how much you complicate your own.

“Sounds depressing.”

“I’d say eye-opening but what do I know.” Gahyeon shrugged and moved a bit to clean a different area of the floor.

Siyeon stopped for a moment to properly analyze her friend’s way of thinking. She had to admit it was interesting. Maybe she did complicate her life. But was there any other way for her? Feelings were not that easy. It wasn’t some magic moment when all pieces miraculously fall into place and your life suddenly starts making sense. It’s a process. A very complex one.

“Overthinking is a great way to make your life needlessly complicated.” the younger girl once again nonchalantly interrupted her train of thought with the words of wisdom.

“I just don’t really buy it.” Siyeon confessed and Gahyeon looked up at her from the messy floor.

“Care to elaborate?”

That was a great question. It seemed weird to get into a deep conversation over scattered popcorn, but life sometimes went this way.

“In the movies it looks so easy.” she stated. “Like there is no struggle or anything.

“That’s mostly because nobody wants to watch other people have hard time when they have their own problems.” both girls cracked a smile at that. “But love isn’t that hard, you know.”

Siyeon snorted a bit. Her friend could be so innocent sometimes. Good to see nothing changed even with her sudden maturing. Gahyeon squinted her eyes at that slight and moved forward to press a blink-and-you-miss-it peck on the older girl’s lips before shifting back to her previous spot. It felt like being brushed by a feather, gentle yet lingering sensation. Something soft and grounding at the same time.

“What. Was that?”

“A kiss.” Gahyeon beamed at her and threw a popcorn kernel at her. “Platonic expression of my platonic love for you.”

“You used platonic twice.”

“To get the message through your thick skull.

The older girl got her revenge by firing a kernel back. Maybe they were both children after all.

**

“I like silence like that.” 

Yoobin’s face appeared after she lowered her book.

“Well, you just ruined it.” she commented dryly, making Siyeon laugh.

Spending time with Yoobin had a therapeutic effect on her. The younger girl was so chill with everything and never pushed people to talk about the things they didn’t want to mention. Even if it meant they will be silent the whole evening. Silence was never empty with Yoobin.

“What are you reading?” the shorter girl shot her a doubtful look.

“Do you really want to talk about my book?” she asked, clearly not buying whatever her friend was saying.

Siyeon scoffed and looked away. Maybe there was something she didn’t like in Yoobin. The girl was too damn perceptive.

It’s not that she was in a bad mood or anything. But she couldn’t help but zone out sometimes. Her thoughts have recently decided that it would be beneficial if they started wandering in every possible direction. That led Siyeon into some surprising corners of her mind but didn’t make her come to any sensible conclusions. Just a huge jumble of dreams, needs and questions that blurred into one entity residing in her brain and reminding her to do something with her life. If only it told her what was that _something_.

“Must be bad for you not to try and sass me into oblivion.” Yoobin lowered her book almost completely at this point. Siyeon smiled a bit at that.

“You never react to my comebacks.”

“Emphasis on “try”.” When the older girl didn’t react to her clarification, she marked the spot when she finished reading and put the book down. It was time for more important matters.

“Am I in trouble?” Siyeon tried to joke but it came out rather lame and not convincing at all. Her friend scanned her with those big eyes before giving a mental verdict that would never be revealed to the older girl. 

“I don’t know.” Yoobin reminded her. Maybe she was observant but still far away from being a psychic or mind reader. “Tell me if you want to.”

It was impressive how she could make a polite statement like that seem almost like a challenge. Siyeon felt both gently reassured and bluntly dared to speak about her problems. That was a part of Yoobin’s charm, you wanted to confide in her no matter what. 

The problem was not in her unwillingness to share the burden with her friend. She simply couldn’t to pinpoint the crux of her issue. How could she expect someone else to solve her turmoil if she wasn’t sure if there ever was a turmoil in the first place. It started long before her talk with Gahyeon, but that evening helped her realize that there was something going on with her and it would probably be a wise idea to take care of that. 

_“You got triggered because of all that love talk.” she thought_

Well that could make some sense. The idea of having someone committed to her forever and always was not something that crossed Siyeon’s mind often. To be honest she never paid much attention to that. Sure, she found many girls attractive or even interesting, but it never got to the point of dating. There was always something wrong, something missing. It was like eating a cake and not being able to taste that one specific flavor you needed. You never have an idea what that flavor is until someone adds it.

_“Really, Siyeon? Cake? No surprise you can’t find a girlfriend.”_

Yoohyeon had a date recently. Maybe that was the problem. The poison making her mind rot was jealousy all along. But she was there to help the girl pick a perfect outfit and it didn’t make her feel uncomfortable at all. It was exciting to see her friend get ready for a potential opportunity to start a new chapter in her life. She could be a witness of seeing the seeds of something that would bloom into a meaningful relationship.

_“Good for her. Now try to do the same.”_

Handong? Things like that only happened in cliché romantic stories. Star crossed lovers that have a fleeting but passionate couple of moments together before parting to never see each other again and spend their whole lives aching for a connection that was broken before it could properly start. That wasn’t her. But what if it was? Maybe she already lost her chance for love and was destined to suffer for years until eternal sleep saved her from the pain.

“I’m going to die alone.”

Yoobin’s eyes widened and it seemed like the girl was extremely taken aback.

“I said it out loud, didn’t I?”

The short haired girl nodded her head slowly and shuffled closer to her clearly distraught friend.

“It might be a good idea to start from the beginning.” she suggested gently.

“That’s the problem, Yoob!” Siyeon sighed after the small outburst. “I have no idea where it all begins and if it will ever end.”

She could see that there was no rush. Another thing she adored in the girl was that she allowed everyone to take their name. Not even once was there a situation when Yoobin forced a confession out of someone. It just wasn’t her style.

“Sometimes I feel like there is nobody for me.” the older girl finally managed to put together a proper sentence. 

“In a romantic sense?”

Another important question. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

Somehow the mess in her head started to get a little bit less tangled. It was still beyond her understanding, but it was a start.

“Nothing wrong with that.” Yoobin assured absentmindedly and decided to slowly go further down that road. “Is there any specific person you have in mind?”

That actually made Siyeon stop for a bit. Was there someone special on her mind? Or was it just a blurry silhouette dancing around her mind while she struggled to chase her. She wanted to say that there wasn’t anything in particular but some part of her forced her to reconsider. For a second, she could hear a distant sound of laughter and feel a small hand intertwined with her own but all that was gone in a second.

“I guess.” she stated with hesitation. “It’s probably just the loneliness talking.”

Yoobin chuckled.

“Yeah, she can be a bitch sometimes.”

Silence enveloped them once again and Siyeon took a deep but shaky breath. She moved her hand slightly to the left until it touched Yoobin’s. Her fingers found place with the much daintier ones of her friend. One glance was enough to pass a desperate message from one girl to another. They didn’t know who pulled who in but soon enough their lips met, and their hands found different spots to move onto.

It wasn’t just a normal kiss. What was happening between them seemed more like a connection of two people willing to try something seemingly unusual for them in hope of finding whatever they’ve been searching for. For Siyeon it was understanding. She poured the plea to get some peace and clarity into the kiss. It seemed to hurt less when Yoobin held her like that and helped her carry all this baggage.

Just like it started, the kiss ended without a clear sign who pulled away first. Surprisingly, Yoobin spoke first.

“While that was nice.” she started. “It was probably unhealthy.”

There was no judgement or regret in her voice. Siyeon could feel that whatever happened was mutual. What was Yoobin’s struggle?

“Then why didn’t you stop?” she asked rhetorically and they both knew she wasn’t looking for an answer. She got one anyway.

“We all get lonely sometimes.”

Siyeon nodded solemnly. She stood by her previous statement, silence with Yoobin was therapeutic.

**

“Thank you so much. I would have never finished it in one night.” 

To describe Minji one would have to point at the sun. That girl was full of some inner brightness that illuminated her surroundings without being irritating to the eyes.

“No problem. It’s not like I had plans or anything.”

That sounded lame and made Minji shoot her a reassuring smile. They weren’t friends having met less than a month ago, but they just clicked in some weird way. Siyeon always considered herself to be an embodiment of the darker side of the moon and yet she worked in perfect sync with a living ray of sunshine that made her day better with a power of her smile.

“It’s still nice of you to help me move these boxes.” the older girl insisted. “Nobody else wanted to deal with the storage room for the whole night.”

There was no problem in staying up till morning for a night owl like Siyeon. She also admired Minji’s dedication to make everything on campus run smoothly and without major obstacles. Plus, being with the red-haired girl never failed to make her happier and look at life with more optimism. All of that resulted in her volunteering to help Minji moving heavy boxes with old papers inside.

Besides as she said, she had no other plans. Yoohyeon kept going out with that girl from work. Her name was Jinsoul and she was a dork on a level that could compete with Yoohyeon’s. They were a perfect match and Siyeon couldn’t be happier for them. Yoobin and Gahyeon were busy with schoolwork and it was almost impossible to tear them away from textbooks and notes. It would be cruel to disturb their academic efforts so being the responsible friend she was, the older girl focused on other things. She also couldn’t meet up with Bora because…

Actually, why not? The studio finished the semester a week ago which made Bora free from any classes or practice. Nothing stood in her way to arrange a coffee or something. To be honest, she missed her friend like crazy and life just wasn’t the same without her loud presence in it. Life was easier with the small firecracker around. Things never got boring and there was a certain level of comfort and honesty between them that couldn’t be recreated with anyone else.

“Siyeonie, can you put the smaller one onto this pile?” Minji asked sweetly without making it sound like a demand. Almost like Siyeon could say no and walk away. But how could she say no when the most precious person alive was asking her so nicely? Besides she volunteered to help her anyway.

“Of course.” she did a mock salute that made giggles erupt from the taller girl. Then she made sure the box was secured in her hands and walked a couple steps to put it in the right place. 

“Thank you.” Minji beamed and pinched her cheeks gently. “You are so adorable.”

That compliment made Siyeon feel the familiar warmth that she learned to recognize as a red blush spreading across her cheeks. Why did she lose control because of every pretty girl she encountered? It must have been her fate to go crazy around stunning women. Wait, it wasn’t always that way. She felt perfectly fine flirting back with Handong and took control in many situations before. What was it about Minji that turned her back into a giggly schoolgirl?

“We will be finished in an hour if we keep working in that pace.” the redhead announced with a pride grin. It made Siyeon feel alarmingly great to be the only recipient of that gratitude. When did she start caring that much? 

They kept moving the papers in silence that was interrupted sometimes by Minji’s chirpy voice and Siyeon’s barely contained gay panic. It was both embarrassing and oddly pleasant. Some time has passed since she felt like that around another girl. Attraction was one thing, but this seemed like something more.

_“Or you’re just hopelessly desperate.”_

Yeah, or that.

“Want to take a break?”

“Gladly.” she sighed before realizing that it was the sunshine beauty asking her in real life and not her bitter mind having a moment of mercy. “I mean yeah. Wait no, sure. I-if you want to.”

That was an experience. If Siyeon was in Minji’s place, she would go back to work and finish it as quickly as possible in order to get away from the weirdo. Luck was on her side because the tall woman apparently thought her rambling was cute and responded with a giggle. That girl would be the end of her.

“You must be tired.” she concluded from Siyeon’s red face. “Let’s sit down for a second.”

Minji situated herself on one of the box piles and the other girl took the floor. She always liked sitting on it for some weird reason. Yoohyeon said it was a gay thing. It could be true considering her own love for sitting on counters and Yoobin’s habit of occupying the arms of every couch. The black-haired girl hoped it worked in every case because in front of her was a radiant goddess sitting on a stack of boxes. It could be the lack of another flat surface besides the floor but Siyeon allowed herself to dream a little. She deserved it from time to time.

“Are you comfortable?” Minji looked at her with evident concern in her eyes that made the younger girl’s heart melt.

“Yeah, I enjoy sitting on the floor.” she hoped it didn’t make her sound like a freak or that the other woman once again found it charming for some reason.

“That’s cute.” Siyeon decided that she could never get tired of hearing that. “You are so adorable, Siyeon.”

The complemented girl started crafting a smooth yet sweet reply when she noticed one of the piles wobbling dangerously. She stood up in a second and dashed towards the problem, stabilizing the boxes just in time. It was amazing how she managed not to trip and land on her face or run straight into the pile. Maybe there was some hope for her after all.

Her actions seemed to make an impression on her new friend. Siyeon had to admit, it must have looked pretty cool. She made a mental note to brag about it to Bora.

“Wow.” Minji was clearly in shock. “That was fast.”

Siyeon approached her with an attempt of a cool expression on her face. It didn’t work cause the redhead pinched her cheeks once again. However this time her hands stayed on her face almost cupping it.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the whisper made a shiver run down the younger girl’s spine.

“Yeah, I’m a big girl.” she chuckled nervously. “I can handle myself.”

Minji hummed a little, something shifting in her eyes without taking the brightness out of them.

“I can see that.” a moment of silence. “Think you could handle me too?”

That was unexpected. But while Siyeon might have been a disaster, she was not that dumb to let a pretty girl down. Especially if said girl was obviously attracted to her.

“I’m ready to try.” 

Seeing Minji’s dazzling smile up close was an even more breathtaking experience and Siyeon just had to taste it. What took her by surprise was how much the woman got into it. She pulled the shorter girl close and wrapped her legs around her waist without stopping the kissing. It was intoxicating to be so close with a person that perfect in almost every way. The knowledge that they were alone in an empty storage room with nobody close enough to catch them. 

At yet something didn’t feel quite adequate. Minji was amazing at picking up small cues about Siyeon’s preferences and needs, so what was the problem. She had no idea, but the other girl clearly sensed it as she pulled away.

“Should we stop?” the concern was back and Siyeon wanted to cry. She was making out with a stunning girl and it wasn’t good enough for her. Maybe she truly was broken.

“I don’t know.” she whispered. Minji hopped off the boxes.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” the shorter girl felt herself being pulled into a warm hug and it felt much better than what they were doing just a couple seconds ago.

“I’m sorry Minji, I have no idea what’s going on with me.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about!” the redhead looked her in the eye without a trace of disappointment on her face. “You are not obligated to enjoy kissing me.

“But I did enjoy it.” Siyeon assured. “Who wouldn’t enjoy kissing a girl like you? It’s just- just-”

Just what? She had no idea. It was probably her destiny to stay in this constant state of questioning her life choices.

“You know sometimes kissing a girl is not the same as kissing the girl if that makes any sense.” Minji suggested as if she didn’t just summarize all Siyeon’s problems in that one statement.

“Exactly.” the younger girl sighed. “Minji, you will make some girl really happy one day.”

The woman smiled at her with a brightness of a hundred suns.

“You too, Siyeon.” she assured. “Sooner than you expect it.”

**

“I was this close to thinking you forgot about my existence!” Bora showed her two fingers without any space between them. Siyeon rolled her eyes with a teasing laugh.

“How could I forget? I’m pretty sure you permanently damaged my ears at this point.”

The tiny woman gasped dramatically and put a hand on her chest.

“Lee Siyeon, you will not insult me in my own household!”

Their eyes met and it was enough for them to burst into uncontrollable laughter. It had always been like this with them. That sort of connection that was unbreakable and would last forever no matter what happened. Siyeon usually cringed at cheesy lines like this but in Bora’s case all of them were fitting. The way her friend made her feel was the closest thing to having a soulmate, which was another load of crap that Siyeon never believed in. Let’s just say that rules like that didn’t apply to her relationship with Kim Bora. They were something above everything else.

“At least have some decency and listen to me!” the woman waved her hands in every direction which made her look like a tiny windmill. That visual was so bizarre and hilarious that Siyeon couldn’t contain another laughing fit. Bora glared at her and crossed her arms.

“Unbelievable.” she commented with disappointment. “You come here after months of no contact and treat me like this? This is blasphemy. I do not agree to be humiliated in such a barbaric way."

"We were texting if you don't remember." Siyeon decided to shoot back just to see what happens next. Riling Bora up was one her favorite activities because she looked insanely hot when she was mad.

"Texting?!" She continued her epiphany. "I apologize for thinking I am worth more than a couple digital letters on the screen."

"Okay, okay!" The younger woman had to put a stop to this before she choked from laughing too hard. "I apologize for my scandalous behavior. It was way out of line and I solemnly swear to be a better friend in the future."

Something weird flashed through Bora's eyes but before Siyeon could focus on that, she was almost crushed by a tiny body falling on the couch next to her.

"So what's up?"

It was astonishing how fast this woman could go from one to hundred and back again like it was the most normal thing to do. The unpredictability was one of the things Siyeon loved the most in her. That anticipation and having no idea what would happen but being sure that she was safe and taken care of. In conclusion Bora was a perfect woman and friend.

"Good." She replied after a few seconds and instantly knew that the tiny girl won't be satisfied by a one-word answer like that. Especially when it was a blatant lie.

"Whoa, what's going on?" It took her less than a second to move her body, so she was exactly by Siyeon's side. "Do I have to kick someone's ass?"

"No, but maybe you could kick certain thoughts out of my head." 

"Oh sweetie." Bora adjusted their position swiftly so she that Siyeon was curled into her side with the shorter girl's legs draped across her lap. "Tell me everything."

And the dam broke. It was too much to handle for Siyeon's mind, so she started babbling incoherently about her struggles over the past few months. There were no words that could properly contain her doubts, fear and anxiety. All these times when she felt as if there was something unfixable about her. Everything started twisting in her mind into a giant knot made of memories, different faces and voices. And over all of this it was the soft tone that she tried to recognize this whole time. She could hear it in the back of her mind, too far to catch it but close enough to wonder. Now it was overlapping with Bora's comforting voice until they merged into one that finally managed to pull her back into reality.

"I feel broken, Bora." That was all she could say and this time it left her lips with perfect clarity and not a sign of stuttering. She was well aware of that ugly part of her that prevented her from experiencing love.

Her friend gently guided her head up and cupped her face.

"Listen to me." She ordered. "There is nothing wrong with you. Many different factors could contribute to your state right now. This is not your fault and you can't beat yourself up about things out of your control. You can't force yourself to feel, Siyeon." Her voice shook a little at that part, so she cleared her throat and continued. "You are worthy of an endless amount of love and nobody would be good enough to provide you with that. But I know there is someone willing to try. Who will do anything she can to make you happy."

That was one of the rawest speeches Bora has ever made and it made Siyeon tear up. It also seemed to have a similar effect on Bora herself as she looked away for a while to quickly compose herself. 

"What if I don't deserve that person though?" Siyeon asked the last question that kept bothering her.

The look on her friend's face almost made her scared with how serious it was.

"You're right." She clenched her teeth. "You don't deserve her. You deserve much more than this."

It was almost weird to see Bora so passionate about her love life. She knew they were always there for each other, but this was on a different level. What did she do to have a friend like that?

_"Can I?"_

Siyeon didn't expect to hear Yoohyeon's voice in that particular moment, especially asking this question. Why did she do it in the first place? She knew consent was one of the most attractive things but there was more to that. There was an underlying worry about destroying years of friendship because of giving into emotions. Why did she think about that right now?

_"And what happens next?"_

She could almost picture Handong's smirk perfectly. The thrill of trying something new. That moment when you knew something was going to happen but still prolonged it to give the other person a chance to walk away. Even if you were sure she wouldn't. What was that had to do with anything though? 

_"Is there any specific person you have in mind?"_

Yoobin's understanding eyes. The way she knew exactly where the problem was. Could she identify the voice in Siyeon's head? Would she be able to catch the hand that kept slipping from her friend's grasp? Maybe it was obvious. Maybe there was no mystery. Did everyone know? Did Bora know?

"Singnie are you okay?" A concerned question.

No, Bora clearly had no idea. But Siyeon started to think that she finally might.

"My head hurts." She muttered, trying to keep the thoughts and words in one place so they wouldn't get lost in the vortex of her galloping mind.

"Want me to kiss it, so it stops?" A casual not out of character joke with a hint of nervousness.

_“You know sometimes kissing a girl is not the same as kissing the girl if that makes any sense."_

It did. Siyeon could finally understand what Minji meant by that.

"I would like that." She responded bluntly, her eyes gazing intensively into Bora's. The girl froze for a bit, all trails of a grin gone from her face.

"In what way." A demand, not a question.

_“Love isn’t that hard, you know.”_

Funny how the kid was right all along

"In every way."

Their hands found each other and Siyeon couldn't take her mind away from how perfectly they fit together. She tightened the hold and pulled Bora onto her lap, not breaking the kiss even for a minute. It was exactly how she always felt it was supposed to be. From the way Bora straddled her as if she was born to fill that spot to the warmth of her lips. Everything finally clicked into place. All the voices were gone except for Bora's because of course it was her all along. 

"It has always been you. I was just an idiot." Siyeon breathed out when they pulled for a second between kisses. The smaller woman pulled the black her from her face with such tenderness that it almost made Siyeon cry. 

"You're so beautiful." Was all Bora could whisper. She waited for so long and wasn't even sure if she would ever get what she was waiting for. "I can't believe this is real."

Siyeon took her small hand and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. Now it was Bora's turn to get emotional. 

"I'm not going anywhere." The younger girl promised and was pulled into another kiss by her giggling lover. And with every touch of Bora's lips the knot inside her kept getting looser and looser until finally disappearing and making her think clearly again. As clearly as you can think with a woman like Kim Bora in your lap.

"We have a lot to talk about." Bora stated in another break for oxygen. Siyeon nodded and stroked her face.

"Well, I only wanted to say that I love you."

Bora smirked smugly.

"Guess I won, cause I planned to say that I love you _and_ that I'm in love with you."

Siyeon rolled her eyes at the familiar antics and went back to kissing. It was crazy how nothing changed despite everything that just happened. Wait, one thing did change.

Lee Siyeon finally understood the concept of true love.


End file.
